I have always tried to express my thoughts as hilarious as I possibly can, as I believe there is always a lighter side to this thing called Life.

However I have decided to be a little philosophical about my life as a Malaysian, living in a now-semi-white Australia.

Consider the following scenario: 

"Hhhheeeeyyyy brother. How’s it going?" John asked when he accidentally bumped into Joseph on the street one fine weekend. Joseph has only met John a couple of times before as they both knew each other through their mutual friendship with Jim.

(Genuine Malaysians tend to stretch certain words to enforce rapport among fellow Malaysians or brother, which is a term reusable among friends with no blood ties or of similar ethnicity.)

"Aiyah… don’t talk about it lah! Damn shitty lah! So damn stress, man," Joseph replied as he shook his head in frustration.

It is unfortunate to say that sort of conversation above is common in Asian countries like Malaysia, Singapore, while some even insisted on Indonesia. Let us call these three countries the MSI.

In a country like Australia, most of the locals here insist on a proper work-life balance. A common misconception among MSIs, in general, is that this attitude is an excuse for laziness, which I understand is sometimes vented out of jealousy or a misunderstanding. Having been working in Brisbane for the past 1.5 years in an American consulting firm, the normal office hours is between 8am to 5pm. There are rare occasions where we have to work to 9pm, but again, that is very rare. The reason for us leaving home at 5pm is probably due to the lack of breaks we take during office hours, in comparison to what MSIs generally take. Practices like breakfast breaks, tea-time breaks, coffee breaks (and this is usually conducted with a meeting agenda in place) and other unnecessary breaks during office hours are not part of the societal norm here. We are expected to work the full 8 hours a day, as we are paid accordingly.

That being said, in response to a standard greeting of "Hey, how you doing?", almost any fellow Australians will gladly reply with a "I’m good, mate! How’s yourself?" instead of the usual approach that Joseph chose to reply in the above situation.

In my very honest opinion, MSIs do not often project enough of positivity in their daily lives. This problem could have probably started from as young as 6 year olds, where parents come back late from work with some undue mental stress and may project little of these negativities towards their children. MSIs sometimes over focus on these negativities and can often result in being construed as an act of conservation (conservative), as of the following scenario:

"Hhhheeeeyyyy brother! My girlfriend’s sister coming to KL tomorrow. She’s pretty and single. Why not we go out for makan* tomorrow together?" John bumped into his old pal Harry on the street.

"Wah, really ah? Don’t want to interrupt you all lah." Harry replied.

A foreigner may easily accept Harry’s reason, but really, do you think Harry’s spoken intentions can be assumed for face value? Perhaps shyness (which can be a product of conservativeness)? Or maybe not?

Another common attitude issue is the greeting between strangers in a public place like the shopping mall. Picture yourself in this scenario - you are walking in the mall, minding your own business; and all of a sudden, as you were walking past this dude, he smiled towards you and asked the friendliest question, "Hello. How are you?". I bet your ass this is the almost similar thought you are making up in your mind:

"What the hell? This bugger crazy or what? Must be gay or something."

Think about it. Email feedback to .

* a Malay word for "meal". 

"Happy Good Friday!"

Now, that sure does give a new perspective to a day when the Lord died for me. We should come up with a special day dedicated to the people who died in the 9/11 attack. Only then we can start our day in the office by saying, "Happy September 11th, mate!" to The Boss whom you wish so much he was standing at the window that morning when the plane crashed into his balls. Or maybe to your colleague who sings "Alleluia!" when The Boss calls you into his room.

I do piss many people off, don’t I?

On this windy afternoon of Good Friday, I was in this moment of solitude, lying on my bed as my mind wandered to a Beautiful Place. And then the horrible cringing sound of the telephone crept through the creeks of my wax-filled ears.

"Good afternoon, sir," an obvious Indian telemarketer tone began from the other end of the line. "Please do not hang up as I’m not trying to sell you anything."

Completely oblivious to what he just said, the phone beeped as I pressed on to the "Hang up" button.

Lesson for the new telemarketers - try harder.