“I watch porn“.

There. I’ve said it.

I have a thing for porn from the Oriental - Japan, in fact.

There goes my last scrap of dignity.

Let’s face it, men. You have an obsession for J-Porn because their girls are hot. Pretty face. Great rack. And the trademarked Nippon-made high-pitched moans that could turn any Viagra-dependent man (i.e. white dudes, black brothers, yellow man, brownies, blue) into a top-rated pervert.

However, I beg to differ.

The true reason behind the success of J-Porn around the world lies in its profound rarity - the rare existence of grotesquely short-length penises. Noticed the mosaic filters you often see in every J-Porn movies ever made? They are there to shield the international viewers from the realities of Japan-made penises. Boy, you’d be crushed if you were expecting a Pontiac but ended up just with a… Honda.

Hey, it’s not just a Honda - it’s a small one that outperforms every engine of its price range!

Here’s some food for thought.

A Keith I once knew in high school came to this conclusion: a man’s ability to perform at work is attributed to the length of his penis. Does that explain why our Japanese brothers can put up with 20 hours a day at work and yet not fret, while the rest of us are already on a verge of popping a Valium?