Have you ever got busted for drink-driving? The cops insisted that you were a wee bit over the limit and refused to let you go, didn’t he? That bastard.

Worry not, dawg. I hear you.

If you’re gonna argue your way out of an underpaid cop that night, you need to get the answer to this question right:

What is worse than drink-driving?

Simple.
1. Drinking;
2. Driving.

In Britain itself, there were 33000 cases of fatal accidents on the road due to vehicle failures and driver incompetence; 25000 for alcohol-related deaths (e.g. alcohol poisoning, liver failure due to chronic drinking). And only 500 cases for drink-driving.

Hence what are the chances of you dying tonight because your car blew up?

So, drink up. Drive. If you’re unlucky, die happy.

Have you ever walked out of an hour long shower feeling like you’ve missed a spot around the belly area you spilled ketchup on during lunch with Fat Suzie? - I don’t blame you.

I have noticed while showering, the areas we spent most of our time scrubbing aren’t the necessary areas that require the extra attention. For the most of us, we spend an awful large amount of time scrubbing the mid-chest area, leaving out the more important areas like say, the feet. Well, nobody really has alot of dirt there. (Look, if you’re from construction and going bare is the way to win the boys - I hear you, man!)

Let’s face it: we scrub there because it’s easy. Convenient. By doing that, we feel the chances of at least, a headjob, from the girlfriend (in Carson Kressley’s case, boyfriend) increases tonight because we actually did some serious scrubbing in the shower. There goes thirty minutes of needless scrubbing.

Your feet, which deserved more attention, on the other hand, gets nothing. Admit it. Please. They haven’t been scrubbed since disco died. It’s just too far down, you thought. It just ain’t worth the effort. Hey, it’s dripped clean!

Ironically some areas do get the extra attention, not because they’re that convenient; it’s just pleasurable cleaning them.